So hey, it’s been a while.
I’ve been busy. It’s summer, and for once in a really long time I’m actually taking the time to have a summer.
It’s glorious!
See, for as long as I can remember during my working life I’ve been one of those people who doesn’t really take time off. I didn’t see the point because the things that stressed me out would still be there when I got back, only there’d be more of them because they would pile up while I was gone and I’d be more stressed because I was catching up on the stress I missed while I was on vacation.
And really, who needs that?
It turns out I was wrong.
Yes, Mom, write it down. I admitted it.
I WAS WRONG. You’re welcome.
It turns out that taking the time to unplug on a regular basis makes the stress a lot easier to take.
Before my dad died I was a stressed out hot mess clutching brand-new Xanax and Buspar prescriptions and questioning whether I was starting early menopause, what with the mood swings and the shakes and the heart palpitations. And the tears. Oh the tears.
I am generally not someone who goes through these things outside of being preggers, and I can assure that is most definitely not the case, so it was kind of a shock to deal with ALL of it all of a sudden.
Then I went to Arkansas to be with my dad when he died, and things changed somewhat in my head. At first when I got home I was even more of a mess with the crying at inopportune times and not being able to decide what I wanted to eat for dinner let alone make big decisions. Gradually, though, I’ve made adjustments in my thinking because I realized some important things.
Enjoy your life now.
That whole work hard now so you can enjoy retirement mentality is bullshit. My dad was a mere year into retirement when he died. Judging by his health when I got there, there wasn’t a whole lot of retirement enjoyment going on there.
I think it’s a false promise we make to ourselves that if we sacrifice now we’ll be rewarded in our golden years with travels and endless free time. There’s a big difference between financially planning so that you don’t have to eat cat food when you retire, or worse, not get to retire at all, and putting all of your “this is when I will enjoy my life” eggs in the retirement basket.
So instead of plugging away in the office all summer while everyone else takes a vacation, and then resenting that they’re gone and I’m not (how weird is that – no one said I couldn’t go but me) I’ve been leaving work at work and taking time off.
We bought an RV and headed to the mountains for a weekend. We broke the shit out of it, but no one got seriously hurt, and we had a lot of beers and laughs and good times with family and met a whole bunch of new potential friends.
And he says he can't catch fish...
The stress was still there when I got back, but it was a little easier to take.
I went to a blogging conference and didn’t camp out in the hotel room the whole time like I thought I might, I actually hung out with my friends. I soaked up the healing energy of girlfriend time. I loved up on my “esteem team” as one friend called it and I put faces on people I previously only knew as Twitter handles. I came home refreshed and energized in a way that only girlfriend time can do.
The stress was still here when I got home, but it was yet a little more easy to take.
We took the RV to the coast. We camped at the beach and visited a brewery and drank great beers and ate the most wonderful clam chowder. We walked on the beach and made camping ice cream and my marshmallow fell into the fire. Even though Google maps tried to kill us by sending us down a logging road that isn’t even on regular maps it’s that steep and narrow and OMG WTF does California have against guardrails we didn’t actually die and our brakes didn’t catch on fire even though they smelled like flames were shooting out of them. And at the end? We got to see this.
And when I got back the stress was still there, but it was a lot easier to take.
We’re already planning our next getaway.
Nicely said!!
Thank you!
So many revelations in such a short time. Hard times will do that to you, huh? I’m so happy for you and all the life you’re soaking up.
I really wish I could learn these lessons from the good times!
i love that you got to destress a bit.
did your ninja just stick his hand in and grab that trout?
no time is promised to us. plan a bit for tomorrow, but enjoy today. amen!
so much love to you.
hello haha narf recently posted..Four Years
Haha! No, he did it the old-fashioned way. He did catch the biggest fish of the day, so he was quite proud of that.
LOVE this post – excellent lesson. Thank you for the reminder. <3
Chibi Jeebs recently posted..This Is Why I Love You: Reason #43
I’m trying to keep myself reminded as well
I feel the same way as you! We just got back from our RV vacation and I need a vacation. I feel like I live in a perpetual state of stress. We try to work hard but also play hard too which doesn’t leave much down time to just stop and relax. I used to be such a saver where money was concerned. Now we get by but have a lot more fun. I’ve seen way too many people wait for retirement to enjoy life and sometimes retirement never comes! I’m so glad you’re taking more time for life’s pleasures. The work will indeed still be there next week and next year. I’m also glad you felt inspired to blog about it.
Chrisor recently posted..100 Things About Me
We are trying to keep our play low-key so we actually feel refreshed after a getaway. We’re getting our routine down so the packing up and unpacking takes minimal time, and we don’t set schedules for ourselves. It seems to work out well that way.
Very happy for you! This is still a lesson we are a looooonng way from learning, regardless of how much sense it makes.
I think the more stressed out we are, the harder it is to push away for a while, even though that’s when you need it most. Maybe you just need someone to badger you into going camping
Much RV love! And the beach looks lovely…I’m glad for you.
The beach was heavenly! I would love to live closer to it.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! xoxo
You know, I’ve been in that same boat of stress worry for some time. And while I try to make time for vacations, I’ve always stressed about everything piled up waiting for me at home. The last year, I’ve been working towards not doing that anymore.
This post speaks major volumes to those of us that are trying to enjoy life more often, without the shit monsters coming in to disrupt things.
martymankins recently posted..Music Monday: Everlong Jr
Lately I’ve been able to stop worrying about the work that’s piling up and just deal with the catch-up when I get back. I will confess to taking my work phone with me so I can stay caught up on emails, however. It makes me feel like I’m not totally out of the loop should something happen, but I can limit checking it to once or twice a day and be fine.
My work goes with me almost every night, via RDC access to my computer to login and manage servers. Most nights, nothing happens. But if the phone rings and something is down with one of our aging systems, I need to be available.
I do limit checking my work email. Makes for more sane and less worrisome times at home.
martymankins recently posted..Music Monday: Everlong Jr
I’m glad you’ve taken time to enjoy your family and refresh yourself and I agree completely with the proper balance between enjoying your life now and avoiding hardship later.
I’ve been listening to a podcast series that I think you’d enjoy. Here’s a link to the first episode (they’re up to 12 or 13 now): http://www.zenandtech.tv/zenandtech/zenandtech-1-just-breathe/
I think all of the episodes are good, but some of them really standout. I’m not saying which, though.
Ren recently posted..RAW
Thanks for the podcast recommendation! I’ll definitely check that out.
I have a similar picture of us next to my bed in my RV.
And how did you get that picture of the beach? Were you kneeling or something to get that angle? So good!
Miss Britt recently posted..7 Things I Love About Living in an RV
I took that beach photo with my iPhone just standing on the beach trying to hang onto the dog leash at the same time. Sometimes the best photos happen when you just snap one off, know what I mean? It ended up being one of my favorites.
One day at a time. I love you!
I love you too!
Well said, Lisa.
I retired early for the very reasons you mentioned – I’m poor but much happier. My hard-working colleagues couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to work another four years to get full retirement, which was MUCH more money. But there’s money and then there’s life, which is too short to be spending it the way I was. I wanted a LONG retirement and it saddens me that my brother didn’t get to have that.
So, until you’re old enough to retire, don’t worry about work so much – it will take care of itself and god knows it will STILL be there!
P.S. Glad you’re enjoying the RV.
I’m sad that he didn’t get to have it either. I’m very glad that you are! Quality of life is much more important that your bank balance, I think. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but important. You can’t take it with you!