Avoidance

November 29, 2011 By 9 Comments

So I joined a gym.

It’s a nice gym. Most gyms I’ve been to are at least somewhat dirty. They smell. They’re full of muscley preening look at me type people.

This one is different. It’s clean. It smells, well, rather neutral actually. But the towels they provide smell awesome. The showers are the two-stage kind they have in spas that have the little changing room in front of the shower stall, and the showers have shampoo and conditioner and shower gel. The locker room has hair dryers and lotion and Q-Tips and mouthwash. I go at 5 and it isn’t totally crowded. I’ve been twice this week and haven’t waited for cardio equipment either time. The crowd is a mix of all ages, and everyone is just doing their own thing.

But the best part? The sauna. I love a sauna. And this one works and everything. (the saunas at my last two gyms were hit and miss).

It’s gym nirvana.

And yet I sat in my car texting and tweeting in the parking garage for close to 45 minutes, avoiding going in.

Here we go again.

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On Push-Ups, Downsizing, and Saying Goodbye to the P*rncess

February 13, 2011 By 15 Comments

This has been quite a week! Mostly it’s work stuff that has gone crazy, but what would my life be without a little crazy? I am in that zone where I have so much to do that I’m spinning around in circles unable to land on one thing to work on so I can get it off my list.

Workout: This week I managed not to jack my back, or anything else, and except for one small food timing miscalculation (aka don’t eat within a BIG time window or you will BARF) I made it through an entire week of P90X.

How do I feel? Old. Very, very old. My knees are pissed, every muscle in my body has been pissed at some point, and I am tired at a cellular level. But I also feel pretty good about myself that I can actually do most of the moves. The yoga, surprisingly, is where I feel the least able to keep up. There are too many moves that, at this point, I can’t do. Some of it is because my knee just doesn’t work the way it used to, sometimes my bulk gets in the way because as much as I’ve lost my weight still starts with a 2, but mostly I’m just the world’s least flexible human. I’m getting better, and there are some things I can do better than I could before, but if you’ve been reading here very long at all you know that better is not good enough and I will not be happy until I master that which defeats me right now.

The week hasn’t been without comedy, of course. This is me we are talking about. Take, for example, the time my husband was trying to teach me to do “real” push-ups. I can only do “girly” push-ups on my knees right now, which of course frustrates me (see above with the yoga), so he was trying to explain how to get the full range of motion. See, I have this fear of landing on my face. Like I will go down to a certain point, lose my hold, and smash my face on the floor thus flushing years of painful orthodontia, which really isn’t my idea of a good time.

So he gets down on the floor in plank position, with his shirt off of course so I can be impressed by his musclitude, and tells me that what I need to do is “charge my lats.”

Him: See if you squeeze your sides and charge your lats, you are using your lats to control the motion. You try it.

So I get on the floor in plank position.

Me: How do I flex my lats?

Him: Squeeze your sides. At your ribcage.

Me: How the hell do you squeeze your ribcage??

Him: Just put your mind there and squeeze.

Me: (flexing with all my might, which really means squeezing my eyes shut and trying not to fart) Maybe girls don’t have lats.

Him: *falls on the floor laughing*

I will do those bastard push-ups if it kills me.

Downsizing: For the first time ever I actually sold something on Craigslist. Since I’m not using it anymore, and I now have a gym membership, I couldn’t justify keeping my elliptical so I listed it on Craigslist and it sold. It took a while, but I actually got what I wanted for it and I’m really happy with the whole thing. My husband is also happy because he has a big chunk of space back in his shop.

There are a lot more items in my house that I should part with, some of which seem pointless to sell. Like my cookbooks. I have a crapload of cookbooks that I don’t use because I got a little crazy about collecting them at one point (I can read a cookbook cover to cover like a novel because I’m weird like that), but I think selling them would be more trouble than it’s worth. If I listed them on here (for free) is there anyone who would be interested in them? I’d like to see them go to people who will use them, and I’ll pay to ship them, I just want to pare down my collection to books I actually use. I have a bunch of cake-specific books too that could go to new homes.

Moving: I have chosen a new domain and will be slowly building a new space and moving this blog. I will let you all know when it happens. It’s just time to move away from the floatingprincess name. It hasn’t fit me for a long time, and I’ve been anxious to try something new. I’ve already changed my Twitter name to ellemmes, so if you were wondering were the p*rncess went that’s what happened. It’s time.

I think it’s time for me to head outside. It’s a beautiful day and we’re supposed to have snow next week (what the what?) so I’m going to soak up the sun while I can and go for a run. Have a great week everyone!

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On Patience and the Crazy

November 15, 2010 By 11 Comments

I never said I was a patient person.

Ok, this recovery thing is bullshit. I’m just going to put that out there.  Bullshit.

I went back to running.  The doctor said to ease into running.  Like walk some, run some, walk more than you run, use a treadmill to be safer.

So I started the Couch to 10K program.

At week four.

Which, in case you were wondering, happens to fit the criteria of walking some/running some, and walking more than running.  It just also happens to last 62 minutes and have 11 intervals of running.

My knee swelled up like a balloon.  And made crunchy/poppy noises.

Oops.

I know I said I had lost my need to be competitive.

That was a lie.  Only, to be fair, I didn’t realize it was a lie at the time.  I really thought I’d had a personal growth moment.

It turns out it’s a lot easier to be all personally grown and mature when you’re not actually being tested with things that make your competitive crazy switch flip into overdrive.  Who knew.

See, here’s what happened.  Some of us at work committed to do the Reno-Tahoe Odyssey.  There are those of us on the team who already are runners, and a few who aren’t.  One of my co-workers is starting from scratch and I suggested the Couch to 5K program for her.  She went online and found the Couch to 10K and, thinking more is always better, she got started.  Yay!  Right?

Except she got started before I was released to run and the whole time she’s been training the devil in my head is screaming SHE’S GETTING AHEAD OF YOU!!

Which is why it seemed perfectly rational that starting at week 4 of the C210K wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I am, after all, an experienced runner.  Who had knee surgery six weeks ago.

And you want to know the bad part?  The this is where I might need therapy part?

Even after my body’s response to doing stupid shit kicked in and gave me pain so I wouldn’t forget next time, I am having a really hard time backing off the training BECAUSE SHE’S GOING TO GET AHEAD OF ME.

I don’t think you understand the level of crazy here.

Never mind that she wasn’t a runner before so she doesn’t have old injuries and new injuries to deal with.

Never mind that she’s cough10cough years younger than I am.

None of that matters.  Running is my thing.  It’s what I love.  I can accept that there are people who are a lot better at it than I am.  My husband can run uphill for days with a 50 lb weight vest strapped to his chest while eating a sandwich and I accepted that.  Ok, I accepted it as long as he never runs with me again, but I accepted it.

I don’t know where this need to compete comes from but I appear to be completely incapable of accepting my limitations and taking it easy.  Does it matter in the grand scheme of things if she ends up finishing a 10K before me?  No.

It doesn’t.

It really doesn’t.

But don’t talk to me about her doing it faster than me.  We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

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Pee Ess: Tonight I backed way off, all the way back to the Couch to 5K program, and while it wasn’t perfect it was better. I’m really not crazy or self-destructive, so please don’t think I’m going to be reckless just because I’m impatient.

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The One Where You Will Think I’m Crazy

October 30, 2010 By 14 Comments

Winter is not a good time for me.  I can feel it coming and the urge to crawl in my cave is almost overwhelming.  It seems like I withdraw from everything as soon as the weather turns cooler, just hunker down and wait for the warmth to come again.  Maybe I should just move somewhere warmer, but I have moved so many times in my life that I just don’t want to do that anymore.

This winter I have a lot to do, so I’m hoping it goes by faster.  First, I have triathlon training to get on with.  If you’ve known me for any length of time whatsoever you know that I can be a bit obsessive about things, and this triathlon path I’m on is no different.  I have to be obsessive about it this time though, because the training is kind of a big deal and I’m a little intimidated, I’m not gonna lie.  I haven’t actually registered for a race yet, but I have my eye on one in Sacramento in June.  It just depends because there is this other thing…

A couple of people at work got this harebrained idea to get a team together for the Reno-Tahoe Odyssey.  Now before a couple of you start thinking I might be the harebrained one this was not my idea.  I am smart enough to have a healthy amount of fear when you’re talking about a 178-mile long relay race with an almost 2,500 foot altitude climb and descent over an 18 to 40 hour period of time and only 12 team members to complete it.  I am not smart enough, it turns out, to say no when asked to be one of the 12 runners trekking from Reno to Tahoe to Carson and Virginia City and back to Reno.  Since each runner has to run three legs each, and each leg is a minimum of 3 miles (and a max of 8), I need to be able to run at least 6 miles at a go to feel anywhere near comfortable that I will be able to complete my end of this lunacy.  Guess who is going to be running all winter long?

So I haven’t committed to a triathlon date because the Odyssey is June 3-4, and I’m not sure how big of a space I should have between events.  Any advice?

The other thing we have going this winter is Christmas.  Every year Christmas seems like a mad consumerist scramble to fill out everyone’s list.  Except if you’re like me, you only made the list because other people made you make it so they would have an idea of what to give you, even though you would be happy with just the family getting together to be merry and all that.  This year my husband had the idea to have a Little House on the Prairie style Christmas where the gifts have to be hand-made.  Hand-made by us, more specifically.  No craft fairs allowed.  I’m really excited about this because I love making things, and I love giving things I’ve made to other people.  It seems so much more personal.  I do wish we had come up with this idea earlier, but it’s still going to be a lot of fun.

Hopefully all of these grand plans get me at least most of the way through winter without becoming a cranky despondent hermit (yes it really is that bad).  What about you?  Does winter turn your crank or make you cranky?  What do you do to get yourself through the long, cold darkness?

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Totally only Somewhat Related Aside:  My WordPress for iPhone app shit the bed so responding to comments is a little more difficult right now until I get it fixed or find an alternative.  I may only open my laptop once or twice a week lately, so please don’t think I don’t love you if I take too long to respond.  Spanks for understanding.

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I’m Not Here…

September 28, 2010 By 2 Comments

I’m over here today! Come see my funky shoes!

Yesterday I was at No More Muffintop talking crazy talk about Triathlons.

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It’s Saturday, Who Reads Blogs Anyway?

September 25, 2010 By 12 Comments

I wrote a post trying to be all metaphoric and still tell you everything going on in my life without actually telling you because most of the things going on in and around my life aren’t mine to tell, but then it was a worthless pile of flowery crap in which I was the sun and everyone else was a planet revolving around me (because obviously) and I pitched it.  You’re welcome.

Let’s just say that no corner of my life seems to be sacred lately, except work which is swimming along just fine thankfully.

Instead?  Snippets!

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I’m having knee surgery next Wednesday, which is the same day my first post at Buy-Her goes live.  Since I will be unconscious please to take yourselves over there and check it out.  I plan on being high all day, so I’m hoping to get links tweeted but who knows – I could be sending you to Timbuktu depending on the quality of my drugs.

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How bad is it that I’ve waited until after my knee surgery to cancel the cable?  I know I could use Hulu and all of the other online viewing options and it would be fine.  I’m pretty sure I’m using my upcoming couch time as a delaying tactic, which is dumb because I’m the one that wanted to do this in the first place.

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I have another backjack.  I swear, all I was doing was sitting on my bed and whammo, it felt like I got hit with a 2×4.  It’s not a bad one, but I didn’t need this right now.  Of course who wakes up in the morning and says, “You know what would make this day perfect?  A backjack.” but four days before something else is going to hurt also is less than ideal.   The funny part?  Jason was doing yoga on the floor in front of me and his back popped loudly and I almost threw a pillow at him for showing off.  I was so jealous of that pop!  It will take mine several days to calm down enough that I can pop it back into place, but at least I’ve reached the point in this ongoing back saga that I can usually get it to go back by myself.

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Since I was actually told to keep my activities low-impact until after the fixing and the PT, I decided to try water aerobics.  I didn’t know I was signing up for such an adventure!  First there was the joy of finding a swimming suit, which is never fun no matter what size you are.  I didn’t make a very good choice, but I didn’t really understand that at the time. The suit that fit me the best was a little low in the front, which would have been fine for regular splashing around at the beach or trying to get some sun.  However, water aerobics often requires you to shoot straight out of the water with a bit of force, which, when you’ve made an unfortunate swimming suit choice and you’re large in the top department, can induce near-miss wardrobe malfunctions.  The girls were scared that they were going to be all out in public.

Also, I didn’t realize that my feet were such delicate princesses but after two classes I’m sporting band-aids on my big toes because they’ve been exfoliated down to maybe having one layer of skin left.  They look like they’ve been chewed on by puppies.

The class itself was fun, although not nearly as strenuous as I would have liked.  I had a hard time staying away from one girl who didn’t really know where her personal space was in relation to those around her, so I spent a lot of time just avoiding her.  Still, I love being in the water and it’s a good option for now.  I just have to go shopping again for a more appropriate suit and some water shoes.  This is way more complicated than I thought.

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That’s all folks!  What’s new with you?

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Because the Best Part of a Muffin is the Top

July 26, 2010 By 1 Comment

Hey I’m over here today talking about kicking butts.  Come check it out!

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Bullets!

May 4, 2010 By 7 Comments

Reading: My elliptical and I have been spending quality time together. At first I thought I’d go insane because it’s in the garage/shop, with no TV or really anything to look at other than tools and more exercize equipment. That gets really old in a shockingly short period of time, but I finally hit on a plan to save myself from the men in white coats: I’ve been reading your blogs. The machine has a little ledge that holds my iPhone perfectly, so I save up the posts in my feed reader and have a bloggy buffet while I’m pedalling my way to nowhere. It keeps my mind occupied, but commenting is impossible unless I want to spend time in the ER, so I’ve been saving posts for later to go back and comment. Honestly sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn’t. So if you haven’t seen me around it’s not that I’m not there. Just picture me reading your posts all sweaty and hyperventilating.

Slippery I need some advice. We have hardwood floors throughout our house, which most of the time I love. However, every time I want to do a workout video I almost do the splits at least once because my shoes are too slick for the floor. It definitely keeps things interesting, but I’ve already tweaked my knee because of it and I’m afeared for my junk, so I need aerobics shoe recommendations. My running shoes don’t have stick-to-it-iveness. I’ve seen the grippy anti-slip yoga socks and mitts, but my feet are cranky and have to have the support of a shoe for high-impact stuff. Does anyone have grippy yet supportive shoe ideas? I’ve googled the shit out of aerobics shoes, athletic shoes for slick floors, and anything else I can think of with no luck.

Hurricane! Last week we had extreme weather, the wind version. At times we had gusts well over 100 mph that blew the rain sideways and pretty much made being outside impossible unless you’re a dog. During the storm my back fence blew down, and my dogs were pretty stoked to find a portal to freedom right there in their very own backyard. What else could they do but explore? It’s some kind of doggy moral imperative because the temptation is absolutely impossile for any dog I’ve ever known to resist. So they went on walkabout. Together. They ventured into one neighbor’s yard and when that wasn’t interesting enough they found another portal through yet another fence, and checked out another neighbor’s yard. This neighbor has dogs. And a dog door. Are you getting where I’m going with this yet? That’s right – my dogs, masters of good manners that they are – waltzed right in the neighbor’s house through their dog door. They were all “HiOMGI’mSoExcitedToBeHereYouShouldPetMeNow!!” with their wiggle selves and the neighbor was all “doods…where did you come from?” and just kind of shocked to see two strange dogs mosey in their house out of nowhere. Luckily they called me to come get the fugitives and I instituted doggy lockdown until hubs fixed the fence that night. Good times.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. What’s new with youse?

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35 Days

April 25, 2010 By 24 Comments

It’s been 35 days since I started my fitness program, and I’m not going to lie – it has been hard.  It has also been rewarding.  I feel better.

I like being in control of what I eat and how I move.  Well, I’ve always been in control, I know that.  But I haven’t exercised that control for a long time and it feels good to do so now.

I like getting up from the table feeling satisfied and yet not weighed down by the amount of food I’ve eaten.

I like knowing I’m eating foods that will fuel my body instead of putting it into a coma.

I like that I can now do 50 minutes on the elliptical in a row, when I could only do 20 minutes when I started – and even that 2o minutes was a real push.

I like that I had to buy new weights because mine became too light.

I like that my stomach doesn’t hurt from all the soda I used to drink.

I haven’t had any alcohol in 35 days and I no longer miss it.

I haven’t strayed from my plan, though I have made modifications.

I like all of that, and yet it’s still hard.  I don’t expect that’s going to change, and that’s ok.  I’m not afraid of the hard stuff.

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Kerrpoww!

April 7, 2010 By 9 Comments

How ‘bout dem bullets!

Buggin’:  This weekend I dug out my Bodybugg, blew off the dust balls and cobwebs, and hooked it up again because the little bit of OCD that I have loves to keep track of calories burned vs. calories taken in.  It’s really great to have a visual to look at that keeps you on track with your targeted calorie deficit, and I’m enough of a geek to really dig that kind of stuff.  You get used to wearing it really fast and you just wear it all the time, except in the shower.  It measures the calories burned by body heat, sweat, and movement.  I had always heard that you can’t trust the calorie counters on treadmills and elliptical machines because they always way overestimate the calorie burn, so last night I decided to see if my elliptical was even in the right ballpark.  I downloaded the bugg so I knew my starting point and jumped on the elliptical.  When I finished 40 minutes later the elliptical said I burned 407 calories.  Right away I downloaded the bugg again and did the subtraction, and sure enough, it was dead on at 407 calories.  I don’t know how the elliptical did it since it has no idea how much I weigh, but I’m glad to know it’s accurate.  And also?  How freaking cool is that?

Quitter: I really hate being a quitter when I’ve started something, but I had to leave the Project 365 I started at the beginning of the year.  At this point in my life I have to do the fitness thing, and quite frankly that consumes most of my free time.  I am over the big 40 hurdle and it’s only going to get harder from here, and things were so out of control I felt I had to dedicate my full attention to it or end up getting around in a scooter for the rest of my life.  I asked a member of the group who had expressed an interest before to take over the admin functions, and while I’m sad at not having finished this project I know it’s the right thing for me right now.

Big Life: I am in love with Kirstie Alley’s new show, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life.  It’s funny as hell.  Hubs hates her assistant Kyle; he calls him a flapping wet douche bag, which is itself pretty funny.  It’s a fun watch, especially when her assistants bust her chubby buddy Jim going through drive-thrus to scarf cheeseburgers on the sly.  HIGHlarious! Plus I love that she’s not afraid to look completely unairbrushed and fresh out of bed on national TV.  That takes some balls and Kirstie has huge ones.

Dat’s all folks!  Have a great rest of your week.

*Obligatory Disclaimer: No one gave me a Bodybugg to try and this is not a paid review.  I bought it with my own very hard earned dollars, although if someone wanted to send me the new model I wouldn’t kick it out of bed.

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